He's a quick one.

The other day Braxton was getting some pretty good dad time in. He ended up convincing Lee to go into the pantry to get him a snack. He is growing and for weeks now he's devoured everything. Both boys went to look but Braxton never really entered. He stood back and just waited for dad to announce what he could have. He kept glancing down at the Gatorade packaging on the bottom shelf.

He tells dad that he's not going in because of the "spooky eyes." Sure enough it's not the potato head eyes this time. There's a set of pretty intense eyes on the outside of the plastic with nothing else. Lee later cut the whole thing out just so life could go on.

After Braxton had chosen a snack and played the rest of his daddy games, he asked dad to pretend to be spooky eyes. They both were getting a little silly staring each other down. A while later it was way beyond bedtime and they still were spooking one another.

Lee turned and told Braxton "Alright. Time for bed."

Then Braxton quickly replied, "But you are spooky eyes. You don't have a mouth."

Lee and laughed a little and he got a more serious tone in his voice, "Braxton, I am just daddy now and it is time."

Braxton knew just what to say to that, "Well I don't have ears."

Lee and I giggled. We know we are in trouble. We realized that a long time ago. We just had this conversation the other day. The Bryson and Braxton playtime is getting more fun to watch but also harder to control! They squeal back and forth. When they aren't doing that they are laughing and chasing each other (on knees of course). Luckily it's been mostly playful. I am sure the relationship will evolve. There is an advantage for the parents for now. Two of them and two of us. If we ever needed to, we could each grab one and referee that way. Don't know how my parents survived as parents to seven. :)

I needed this

So I decided to go to Home, Family, and Personal Enrichment. I get to do that kind of stuff once in a while when Lee is home. Off I went just to enjoy the other ladies' company. The topic of the night was finding joy. A list was given: reading (scriptures/good books), prayer, service... Of course I had thoughts with each new addition. The emotions really came when music was mentioned and a particular cd played. We were encouraged to listen to the words but I knew them all with the first few notes I heard. This had been a song that some days played several times over, usually when I was so stressed with all the negatives. This song has always meant something to me because of the important lesson I learned through those lyrics.

As women we are needed by so many. It is a flattering thought at first but can be quite overwhelming at times. Think of the many titles that just one woman can have: wife, mother, professional, student, leader, homemaker, daughter, sister, and friend. The pressures of taking care of each group and every task can really weigh on us.

I've got to say that I always have been a perfectionist. Not so much with others or even situations, just the things I expect from myself. It's both a blessing and a burden. Seeking to be my best self has pushed me to accomplish. I love that! What I don't love is falling short. I am sure no one does but it especially frustrates me. I guess we really are our toughest critic. There have been days that I was causing myself to hurt by focusing on so much that in the end didn't matter.

The thing that I try to remember is that I may not have got it all done but I did what was important. For me that is showing my husband I love him, teaching my kids values through the gospel of Jesus Christ, and enjoying something from the day. All of this gives me purpose. I am so much more than this but definitely I am a wife, mother, and teacher first.

I have come so far. I haven't needed the boost that I have in the past. I think there is a lot less internal conflict going on. I know what it is I am to be doing and each day I strive to make those goals a reality. I am a work in progress. I will be each day that I live. There will be new challenges, opportunities, and ways to improve as I continue to grow. I am ready for them all! I am sure I will make mistakes. I may even fall. I will hurt and it's more than likely I will cry. I am okay with that. Really! I take great comfort in the knowledge that a new day will come. I can ask myself and more importantly my Heavenly Father the question, "What lesson am I to learn from this?" That makes me feel that at least the hurt is productive. I feel better about crying when I know that I will be stronger through those tears.
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I know you wonder
If you'll ever have a day
Where the kids stay calm
The laundry's done
And the dishes are put away
And sometimes you feel like
Your days are spent and gone
And the question running through your mind
Is "What have I gotten done?"
And when you finally have a moment to slow down
At the end of your day I know Father would say

"Believe in what you're doing
Believe in who you are
And hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are"

It may seem simple all the little things you do
But the lives you touch matter so much
And there's no one else like you
And Father needs you to stand tall and faithful
To be all you can be
If you could see what He sees
You'd believe in what you're doing
And you'd believe in who you are
So hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you are becoming
Believe in who you are.

When it's hard to believe in yourself
And you feel like you're beginning to doubt
Remember...
He believes in what you're doing
And He believes in who you are
So don't lost sight of the truth
That you're a daughter of God
That He believes in who you're becoming
He believes in who you are