Not the vacation I planned. :(

This is both to answer questions for those that just haven't asked yet and a journal type entry for me to reflect. I write so that I can learn.
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Monday we were up early and all in the car by 5 AM to leave for San Diego. The excitement had been building all week and finally we were buckling and backing out of the driveway. My only thought was "California here we come!" We needed this vacation!

I have to say the trip went rather well. Bryson was sleepy. Braxton was on the lookout for trains. I had enough snacks and entertainment to keep them both content when they realized they had been sitting too long. The GPS was getting us where we needed to be. So there was really nothing for Lee and I to do other than talk and sing (two of my road trip favorites).

We knew that we couldn't check in to the hotel until 4 PM so our plan was to head straight to the beach. Lee and I even packed everyone's swimsuits and sunblock on the top so that we could make this happen without digging through 6 days worth of clothes.

The beach was perfect. Braxton and Lee went down first as I was still slathering the little one with SPF. The funniest thing happened when the two of us finally caught up to them though. While holding Bryson, I climbed over the wall by the boardwalk. There was a shrill of excitement when Bryson noticed the waves. That went away when he got in the sand. He was hesitant at first and then minutes later he was ready to fill a bucket. Braxton on the other hand was already busy wearing himself out shoveling. I was thinking both of these boys would have an early bedtime with all of this physical play. I am telling you the day started out perfectly.

Dinner time was approaching and we gathered up all the toys, chairs, and umbrellas. We were heading back to steak! Lee's uncle Dan was grilling for the whole bunch. We went with 20+ people and almost everyone was outside eating. Lee and I did our usual eat in shifts routine. I had Bryson in the high chair feeding him while both Lee and Braxton worked on their food. Bryson refused to stay up there any longer but the timing was perfect because his dad was all finished. I got something to eat but there really wasn't a lot to finish. Bryson had crawled over to enterain one of Lee's cousins. I remember standing up and saying "Oh Bryson that mooch." Then sitting back down when Lee's aunt told me to let him mooch. Lee went over to that picnic table and had the difficult task of convincing the ever distractable Braxton to finish his dinner so he could go on the evening beach walk. I had literally one bite of steak left before I was going to get Bryson. The worst thing that could of happen did happen...

Nate must have turned to talk to his kids for a second and Bryson crawled off. The next thing I know Nate was holding Bryson up and he said I think he touched the grill. I yelled for Lee to get him because he was closer but then ran to get him anyway. He had the worst look of terror and pain. The one where you could tell he was screaming but there was absolutely no noise. We got ice on his hand and soon after gave him some tylenol.

Neither Lee or I had actually seen it happen. So we were going to watch him and manage his pain with tylenol and motrin. It seemed to be working. Just talking about the birds or watching cars pass by distracted him from hurting. The next day he was using it and rather pleasant. He slept fine and other than some pretty ugly blisters I wasn't sure whether we should worry or not. Then on Wednesday I wanted to relieve some of the pressure building on his thumb, so with Gerry's help we sterilized a needle that came from the hotel sewing kit and started draining the only blister left. That seemed to help some but the fussiness that I expected to see much earlier was just hitting that evening. We looked up an urgent care center online and drove him in.

They wouldn't look at him and said we would have to take him in to the burn clinic in the hospital. We weren't sure if we were going to get the same response from other urgent care centers so we just took him in to the hospital the next morning. I really wasn't looking forward to this. I knew at this point that he needed something more than what we were doing. Still I felt so much guilt. How could I have let him out of my sight? I hated that this happened. The feeling was worse answering questions for his medical chart.

The real tears came later as I had to hold Bryson and listen to him scream as they scraped, cut, scrubbed out such an already raw and painful hand. There was nothing that I could do to console him in this appointment and both of us were crying uncontrolably by the time the NP came in to evaluate his situation. I remember having to turn away from both the NP and RN as they mentioned possible surgery. My heart just broke.

We returned to the beach house with a burn clinic appointment for the next day. They wanted him back so they could see what the enzymes were doing to heal his hand. Each time it was unwrapped it looked better so the Nurse Practitioner was hopeful. He set something up with our burn clinic in AZ. We were contemplating extending our vacation to continue care in San Diego if insurance didn't cover the clinic at home. This would have meant a possible two week hospital stay for Bryson if the surgery occured. SO glad Aetna took on the costs for Maricopa Medical. I can't even imagine the stress that would come with 2 weeks in a hotel and lost wages for Lee. Not to mention the cost of food and finding a place for Braxton during all of this. YIKES! Still it may have been worth it if he needed surgery.

The NP wanted us to check in Saturday before we left. Not a formal appointment. He was just going to come out of rounds and take a peek. The night before we had everything ready for an early morning. Gerry, Jim and Braxton were going to fly home so we really just needed to throw a few things in the back of the truck before we could get going with Bryson. We went to bed fairly early (around 11) and I never quite could get to bed before hearing the police chopper shouting something down. I asked Lee what they were saying and he replied that he wasn't saying anything. I guess I woke him up. He never falls asleep first. We both got out of bed and threw open the locked door. I walked to the end of the sidewalk to see part of the boardwalk on fire! It was the castle and there were BIG flames. I apologized to San Diego for bringing our luck with us. When I was up I noticed that Bryson was completely comfortable and finally fell asleep myself.

The next morning the luggage went in but we noticed something. The passenger mirror was bent back. As Lee adjusted it we could see that it was shattered. We found out a few minutes later that everyone else in the house heard our alarm go off at 2 AM. It timed out because we were exhausted and in the deepest sleep. Cleary someone (proabably a drunk someone) punched our mirror as it was on the sidewalk side with no other damage to the truck. Dummies! Found out later that our bumper to bumper wouldn't cover it. Berge told us the cost and I thought that was a high price to pay for someone else's stupidity.

Oh well, off to see the NP for Bryson. Lee wasn't sure we would get in with the Friday 11 PM fire at a big nightspot at the height of summer, especially since we technically didn't have an appointment. Luckily for the people involved and Bryson too no one was hurt. The nurse working the burn ICU hadn't even heard about it. In regards to the little guy's burn, the NP was impressed at another day of improvement. He taught Lee and I the wound care to do at home. I didn't like him screaming but I felt like I could definitely do it if it meant getting my Bryson better.

Today Bryson has fingertips that are almost healed and what seems to be raw but better tissue in the palm. We need to focus on getting him to use that hand again as he has shifted to his left hand only. We go to the burn clinic once a week and have started meeting with the OT. It's going to be a while and understandably so. I just hope he heals well and has full use of that hand.

Still looking for the lesson in all of this. I will probably write soon with something.